you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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