Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I understand Curling. That high.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
