My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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