So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
