I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
