I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
