she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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