Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
