Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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