I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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