hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
