She's JV to your varsity
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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