so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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