I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
