i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
