I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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