Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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