dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
