I wish I could punch you in the face.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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