i wish my penis had a tongue
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
