I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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