I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
