mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
