Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There are leaves in my underwear?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
