this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i would punch a child for taco bell
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
