Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
