I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
