when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
