She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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