His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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