i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
