You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
