i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
