Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
