roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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