I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
