dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
