Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
