You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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