My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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