Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am one with the molecules
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
