Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
