can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
