so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
