she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
