I wish I could teleport
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
