A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
