that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
