i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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