dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
