i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Bring me that man meat
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
