You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
